


Something Old, Something New

by wilddragonflying



Series: Roleplays [9]
Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hell, I cried while formatting this, M/M, Reunions, i cried while writing it, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2013-08-27
Packaged: 2017-12-24 19:12:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/943620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wilddragonflying/pseuds/wilddragonflying
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen hasn't been home to Richardson, Texas, in five years.</p><p>All because of one guy.</p><p>Jared Padalecki.</p><p>Unfortunately, his brother Josh is getting married. This is your typical romantic make-up movie, in fic form.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something Old, Something New

**Author's Note:**

> As always, go send love to impalagirl on tumblr as well!

_You are cordially invited to the wedding of Josh Ackles and Allison Herando._

Jensen stared at the engraved wedding invitation, taking in the details with only half of his mind. The other half he studiously ignored, same as he’d been doing since the day he left home. His brother and Ally were getting married. _Finally,_ he thought, shaking his head and smiling. Then he turned the card over, out of habit, and the smile dropped off of his face.

_You're my best man. Get your ass home right the fuck now, or I will drag it down here. Don't think I won't, lil bro. You can go back to hiding after the wedding, but we all miss you. -Josh_

Home. Jensen snorted. Yeah, he really, _really_ didn't want to go back to that place. Ever. He never wanted to go anywhere that Jared Padalecki may be within a hundred miles of. That was why he'd left Richardson, Texas, and headed all the way to Bozeman, Montana, for college. He'd told his family it was because MSU had given him a full ride, but he, Josh, and Jared all knew the truth. 

Jensen sighed. He couldn't cop out of this one; he hadn't been home in almost five years. His parents had been bugging him about it for the past three. _I just hope I don't run into Jared,_ he thought fiercely, burying the ache that still stuck around all this time later.

***

"You'll never guess who I ran into today!"

"Paris Hilton?" Jared didn't bother to look up from the book he was reading, but he did smile when his boyfriend of five months, Kevin Nisbett, flopped down beside him on the couch. Kevin immediately pressed against Jared's side and Jared made room for him, not even protesting when a chin rested on his shoulder and eyes that were not his own burned into the pages of his book.

"Whatcha readin'?"

" _Jane Eyre_ ," Jared answered, sounding fondly exasperated. He marked his place in the book and closed it before turning to Kevin. "Who did you run into today?"

Kevin grinned. "Josh Ackles."

Jared wasn't impressed. "Well, you work for him, so it's not a huge shock," he deadpanned. _Not anymore, at least_. He'd been floored when Kevin had first told him the name of his latest employer, but that had been several months ago. Jared was over it. Kevin was a wedding planner, and honestly, Jared was pleased that Josh was finally getting married. He deserved to be happy, and it wasn't like Jared was going to have anything to do with the affair. He could handle hearing idle chitchat about his ex's family from his current boyfriend. No big deal.

"No no, Josh wasn't a shock," Kevin agreed. "But the guy with him was. Turns out he finally got his best man to agree to come, and I gotta tell ya, I see what you saw in him."

Jared felt ice flood his veins. "What?"

"It's his brother, Jensen. He just arrived in town last night. Total hottie."

"Jensen's here?" Jared didn't even realise that he was white-knuckling his book until Kevin gently removed it from his hands, a confused look on his face.

"Yeah, baby." God, Jared hated it when people called him that. Did Kevin usually call him that? Was it always so annoying? "But it's okay, right? I mean, you guys haven't even seen each other in like five years, and you said yourself that you're over him." 

Jared had indeed said that; he remembered. He also remembered that he'd been lying through his teeth at the time. No one Jared associated with these days knew the truth about Jensen, except Chad, and he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut about it most of the time. Jared had long ago given himself a free pass to punch him whenever he got so drunk that he slipped. Still, he hadn't felt the need to do that in quite a while. Jensen being back in town, though... that changed things. A lot of things. But Kevin was watching Jared expectantly, waiting for an answer, and Jared decided to be a good boyfriend and give him the right one. "Absolutely. It's fine. I'm glad Jensen can make it for Josh's wedding, I know that'll mean a lot to his family." It was only a teeny-tiny white lie—and besides, as he had already told himself, Jared wasn't even going to be involved with this. These were Kevin's clients, not his.

Kevin let out a whoosh of breath, grinning madly. "That's so good," he gushed. "Because I figured that it's about time you two made up. I booked Josh and his groomsmen, including Jensen, in for a fitting at the shop on Tuesday. Surprise!"

Then again, Jared had always had a thing for speaking too soon. 

***

After dinner, Jensen had retired to his room, and Donna and Mac had cornered Josh in the kitchen. "What's up with Jensen?" Mac demanded while Donna loomed.

Josh shrugged. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he said evenly. Jensen had sworn him to secrecy over the whole clusterfuck with Jared; no way was he going to break that, even if he did think it was about time his little brother pulled his head out of his ass and realize that Jared had—and hopefully still did—love him.

"Bull," Mac accused. "Jensen and Jared used to be inseparable. Then a month before graduation, he switches colleges, won't talk to Jared, won't even look at him, and drops off the face of the earth? What happened, Josh?"

Josh sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Look. I'm not allowed to tell you," he said, frustrated. "Jensen made me swear to keep it a secret. Said he didn't want it getting out, said it would hurt Jared worse than him, the self-sacrificing little shit."

"Josh, language," Donna chided, but it was mild. "Hurt Jared worse than him? What on earth could have happened?"

Josh sighed. "It's a moot point now, anyway; but Jensen doesn't know that. I'm trying to decide whether or not I want to tell him."

"Tell him what?" Mac pressed, sharing a glance with their mother.

"About Jared's boyfriend."

***

Monday passed pretty sedately, and then Tuesday came. Jensen, Josh, Chris, Donna, Mac, and Alan all squished into Donna's big SUV—everyone teased her that her kids were a bit too old for her to be a soccer mom—to head to the shop to get fitted for tuxes and dresses.

Once they arrived and were greeted by the over-excited wedding planner—Jensen thought his name was Kevin—they were all lead to the back of the shop, where they would be measured to find the closest size so that the fewest alterations had to be made. 

Jensen was standing next to the wall, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched Chris get measured, a small smile quirking his lips as he reveled in the other man's discomfort. Jensen just happened to glance up, and in the mirror behind Chris, saw a mop of brown hair crossing through the rows of suits. Jensen's breath caught in his chest, and he felt every muscle clench, caught in the indecision of fight or flight. He would know that hair anywhere, considering it hadn't changed much since the last time he'd ran his fingers through it.

Jared had seen Josh and co. come in, and had promptly disappeared into the back of the store—but not before he'd caught a glimpse of Jensen. _Jesus_ , he was as beautiful as Jared remembered him, and just being in the same building as him made Jared's heart ache. It shouldn't be like this, he knew; he had Kevin now, Jensen shouldn't affect him like this. But he did, so Jared had made himself scarce.

What he hadn't counted on was that Josh would want his wedding planner with him while he chose his suit. He'd just been sneaking past everyone to grab a tux that some kid had come to pick up when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and suddenly he was being dragged into the middle of the room, and he was face-to-face with Jensen Ackles.

"Look who I found, babe!" Kevin crowed, much to Jared's mortification. He had an arm around Jared's waist now, and Jensen would have to be blind _and_ deaf to not see that they were together. _Fuck_. Jared would rather have not seen Jensen at all while he was in town, but this was the last way he wanted Jensen to find out that he had a boyfriend. That he was out. 

They watched each other for a long moment, neither speaking, and Jared wished that he could find his tongue, that he knew what to say to make this better, but if he hadn't known back then, when his whole world was walking out of the door, there was no way he could even begin to know now. Thankfully, that was when Josh appeared.

Josh had heard Kevin's voice—no way in hell would the guy ever be the poster boy for "subtle"—and had immediately made his way back to the measuring stool. He spared a second to glare in Kevin and Jared's direction before looking at Jensen, worrying his lower lip anxiously. Jensen was frozen, his face the carefully blank mask he'd perfected after he and Jared had had their falling-out, but Josh could see the pain behind Jensen's eyes. He was willing to bet that Jared could, too. "Jensen?" he asked quietly.

Jensen shook himself out of his shock, burying the hurt and rage that come with Jared's appearance. Jared was _out_ , now? And of fucking _course_ he would be dating his brother's wedding planner. Because it wasn't painful enough that he would be out. "I'm fine," he said shortly, flicking a glance in Josh's direction. He turned back to Jared, schooling his face into a polite, if frosty, smile. "Hello, Jared."

"Hey," Jared said, not even bothering to try to smile. Jensen would be able to see how fake it was, how much he actually wanted to cry, and he couldn't risk that. Not now. 

Jensen studied Jared for another moment, his eyes lingering briefly on Kevin's arm, which was still wrapped around Jared's waist. "Good to see you," he said coolly. Jared looked... He looked amazing, as ever. He'd filled out with a bit more muscle, and it looked good on him. He was clearly uncomfortable with Jensen's presence—as he damn well should be, the dick—but Jensen wasn't going to leave. He was only here for the last month before the wedding, and as soon as the wedding was done he was going back to Montana to finish getting his degree and license. He could make it a month being civil to Jared.

He hoped.

Jared nodded, feeling awkward and self-conscious. He was acutely aware of Kevin's arm around his waist, and he wished that he would just let go. He didn't want Jensen to see him like this; to think this was who he was now, even if it was kind of true. "Well, I should probably—"

"No, no!" Kevin, who had been grinning like an idiot between the two of them, suddenly looked stricken. "Don't disappear, Jared. You and Jensen need to catch up, I'm sure. Why don't we get Frank to see to him next and then you two can go get some coffee or something?"

"Kevin..."

"Don't worry," Kevin chuckled, pressing a smacking kiss to Jared's cheek. "I know he's not going to steal you away from me, baby. You love me too much."

Jared wanted to die.

Jensen forced himself to swallow past the sudden clog in his throat. He'd known, logically, that Jared had moved on—Jared wouldn't still be as hung up on Jensen as Jensen was on Jared. Having it shoved in his face, however, was exactly what he didn't need or want. "I'm busy after this," Jensen ground out, pointedly turning his back on Jared and Kevin, pivoting to watch Chris's fitting intently. He forced himself to drag in deep breaths, but he still jumped when Josh laid his hand on Jensen's arm.

"C'mon," he muttered, dragging Jensen off a ways, tossing an apologetic grimace in Jared and Kevin's direction. Once they were separated by several aisles, Josh rounded on Jensen. "Look, I'm sorry—"

"Damn right you should be sorry," Jensen hissed, his hands clenching into fists. "Dammit, Josh, why didn't you warn me—"

"I didn't know that Jared worked at this shop! I was planning on telling you," Josh protested, but Jensen just ignored him.

"Dammit, Josh, you _know_ how I feel about this! The only reason I came back here was because Mom and Mac had been begging me to come down for three years, and because you're getting married. I _never_ wanted to see him again," Jensen whispered, pressing one fist to his mouth, screwing his eyes shut. Dammit, he was _not_ going to cry. Not in a shop, and not over Jared. He'd done enough of that over the years—mostly while drunk, but enough of it was while he was sober. He wasn't going to waste any more tears over it.

"Jensen, I'm sorry. I really didn't know that he would be working here, I swear." Josh looked stricken, and Jensen slowly took a deep breath.

"I won't screw this up for you, Josh. It's your wedding. As long as no one asks me to socialize with him outside of wedding business, then I'll be fine. I'm an adult, he's an adult. What happened, happened when we were teenagers. We can behave like adults. Then I'm going to back to Montana," Jensen sighed. He nodded, once, and then the fitter, Frank, was calling for him, and Jensen gave Josh a quick grin that was more like a grimace before heading back to the stool.

Jared avoided Jensen for the rest of his fitting, and then spent the remainder of his shift in a daze. Jensen was back. Jensen had been _here_. Jensen hated him. It was nothing less than he deserved, of course, but it hurt nonetheless. Still, there was nothing he could do. 

Kevin picked him up after work and they went back to Jared's place, where he proceeded to get incredibly drunk. At one point, Kevin had interrupted his self-pity party by asking peevishly, "Is this about Jensen?", but at that point Jared had still had the presence of mind to lie and say no. They'd gone to bed not long after, and they'd fucked, but it had been largely unsatisfying. Jared couldn't remember the last time he'd been truly satisfied by sex.

Well, he could, but he pretended otherwise. 

The next morning, when Kevin took pity on his hangover and drove him to work, Jared made him promise not to bring Jensen to the shop without advance warning. That way, he could avoid Jensen for the whole month and they would never have to set eyes on each other again. Of course, he hadn't factored the card he received in the mail a week later into this plan.

_You are cordially invited to the wedding of Josh Ackles and Allison Herando._

Jared sighed. “Shit.”

***

Jensen stormed into the study, where Josh was looking over some pictures from potential photographers. "What the hell is this?" he demanded, shoving the guest list under Josh's nose, pointing to a name a little below halfway down the list: _Jared Padalecki_.

"It's a guest list, and that's one of the guests," Josh replied evenly, setting the sample photos down.

"I can see that," Jensen snarled. "Why the hell is _he_ one of the guests?"

"Because even if you decided to sever all ties with him after you found him that day, none of the rest of this family did," Josh snapped, glaring at Jensen. "He's still a friend of the family, even if he isn't _your_ friend."

Jensen growled, his free hand clenching. "Dammit, Josh—"

"Nothing is going to get him off of that list, so don't even try," Josh said shortly, then he softened. "Jensen. Please. You said you could behave. It's just one night. You said it yourself: You're only here for a month—less, now—and then you're going back to Montana. Please. Everyone else wants him at the wedding." 

Jensen held his glare, but finally he relented. "Fine. Whatever. Just don't expect me to hang around too long at the reception."

***

There had once been a time when Jared jogged every single morning, come rain or shine, but things had changed a lot since then. Now he tried to fit it in on weekends, but even then he was largely unsuccessful. More often than not he allowed Kevin to persuade him that staying in bed would be far more productive, and more often than not he was right. Sex was a decent workout, satisfying or not. 

Today, however, Jared had told Kevin no. He wasn't staying in bed; he was going running. Would he like some company? No thank you, he needed to think. About Jensen? _No_ , about what he was going to get his mom for her birthday. Kevin couldn't really help with that; he didn't understand Jared's mom—so Jared escaped, and he ran until he could barely breathe, let alone stand up. Exhausted and feeling better for the exercise if nothing else, he staggered into his usual coffee shop and smiled at Sophia, who worked there on Saturdays.

"Hey Jared, your usual?"

Jared nodded gratefully and leaned against the counter. "Yeah, thanks." They indulged in some idle chitchat while he drank his coffee, mainly about Chad, who was dating Sophia, and then Jared handed his mug over and turned to leave, glancing further into the shop as he did so. What he saw stopped him in his tracks.

Jensen was sitting at a nearby table.

Great. Jared had actually tried to call Jensen after he'd received Josh's invitation, but the number that he'd used in high school had been disconnected. No surprises there; Jared himself had changed his number several times since then. Still, at least he could say that he'd tried to get in touch. Now, with Jensen directly in his line of sight, Jared's whole argument fell apart. He didn't have a choice; he approached Jensen's table.

"Uh, hey," he began awkwardly when Jensen didn't even look up. "Can we talk?"

Jensen had seen Jared come in, and he'd been sitting at his table, clutching his cup of black coffee, hoping desperately that Jared wouldn't see him. But the universe loved to screw him over. He cleared his throat and gestured to the empty seat across from him at the table. He didn't look up until he'd heard Jared sit down, and then he finally dragged his gaze up, barely refraining from wincing as he took in Jared's appearance. He looked like he always had, when they'd stop in here for a coffee after their morning runs together, Jared dragging and pushing him along, bribing him with the promise of coffee at the end of the run, and at least one kiss—maybe more than just a kiss, if Jensen was really good.

Jensen had to blink and look back down at his coffee before he could speak. "What did you want to talk about?" he asked, his voice rough.

Jared knew exactly where Jensen's mind had gone to, and he felt guilty for doing this here, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to seek Jensen out later if he didn't speak to him now. "The wedding," he answered. "I guess you know Josh has invited me. I just wanted to say... If you don't want me there, I won't go."

Jensen snorted. "Yeah, I know." He was quiet for a moment. Of course Jared would volunteer to not go if it would make Jensen more comfortable. He sighed. "No, it's fine. It's just one day. I'm leaving the day after the wedding, so it's not like there'll be any chance we'll run into each other after this is all done." He took a sip of his coffee, but he couldn't taste a thing. He'd never been able to taste a thing before, either, but that had been because he was too distracted by Jared. Now, he was still distracted by Jared, but it was in a bad way. The wedding couldn't get here soon enough, in Jensen's opinion.

Jensen's words stung, Jared couldn't deny it. God, Jensen couldn't wait to get away from him. It wasn't exactly a surprise, but after all this time Jared had hoped that Jensen might feel at least a little nostalgic for what they'd had—the lifetime of friendship, if nothing else. Apparently that was just Jared.

"Okay," Jared said at last, and he hated that the hurt he was feeling could be heard in his voice, if only a little bit. Jensen would pick up on it, just like he always did. Jared stood up. "I'll try to stay out of your way as much as possible then." He walked away without looking back, not wanting Jensen to see the tears in his eyes.

Jensen studiously ignored the ache in his chest that mirrored the one he could hear in Jared's voice. He'd never be able to get through the next three weeks if he couldn't ignore it; although he should have plenty of practice, since it hadn't left him since the day he'd first left Richardson. He stared down into his coffee cup, as if it could give him the answer to how he was supposed to move on past losing his best friend, and quite possibly—cheesy as it sounded—the love of his life. Or if it could just give him the power to travel back in time and tell his past self that it wasn't worth getting even further involved with Jared, back in the summer before their senior year of high school. Then he could head all this off at the pass.

***

"You did this on purpose!" Jared hissed, looking anywhere but at the three people walking toward the door of the cake shop. It was likely an unfounded accusation; Kevin looked just as shocked as Jared felt. Well, almost as shocked.

"It was just supposed to be Josh and Ally, Jay, I swear," Kevin insisted. "I even told Josh that you were coming along because we're going out right after—at least, I meant to tell him..."

Jared fought the urge to pull chunks of his hair out. "Great. Just great."

Jensen froze, reaching to snag Josh's arm, his fingers digging in almost painfully as he hissed, "What is he doing here?"

Ally gave him an odd look. "Kevin's dating him, sweetie, or didn't you know?" Josh sent her an exasperated look, which made her look confused.

Jensen gritted his teeth. "Yeah. I know," he muttered, forcing himself to calm down as they continued walking towards the couple. He nodded at both men, then pretended to take an intense interest in the cakes on display as Josh, Ally, and Kevin began discussing their options.

Jared stood helplessly by Kevin's side for a long moment, trying to lose himself in the inane chatter about wedding cake, but he couldn't keep his gaze from straying toward Jensen. God, they couldn't keep doing this. It wasn't fair on Josh and Ally if every time two of their guests were in the same room, the temperature dropped to sub-zero. Smiling grimly at Josh and touching Kevin's elbow, Jared excused himself and crossed the room to stand beside Jensen.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, just loud enough for Jensen to hear. "I didn't know you were going to be here. Kevin dragged me along."

Jensen glanced over at Jared before shrugging. " _I_ didn't even know I was going to be here," he replied. "It was a last-minute thing, because apparently since I'm the best man, I need to be more involved with the wedding preparations."

Jared managed a chuckle. "He just wants backup while Ally 'ooh's and 'ahh's over pretty things he doesn't understand," he offered, and for an instant he felt only a little awkwardness between them. It would almost be like old times, if Jensen would just look at him for more than a few seconds.

That surprised a snicker out of Jensen. "Damn right; I've had to come mediate four arguments already," he admitted, still grinning slightly.

Jared groaned in sympathy. "Man, I don't envy you," he chuckled. "Megan was bad enough when she was organising her prom. I think I'll run for the hills if she decides to get married."

"I'll join you, cause I'm sure Mack will decide to get married at the same time," Jensen grinned, chuckling. Then he realized what had just happened, and he stiffened. He glanced over his shoulder, wincing at the glare Kevin was giving him, and then turned back to Jared. "I should go. I'm not actually helping, and I think your boyfriend—" somehow Jensen managed to keep his voice from breaking at the word—"doesn't particularly like me."

Jared winced. He didn't want Jensen to go, not when they were finally talking to each other with more than just base civility. A brief glance at Kevin told him that Jensen wasn't wrong, but a sudden urge to defy his boyfriend welled within him. Who was Kevin to chase Jensen away—Jensen, who was, first and foremost, Jared's oldest friend? "Look," he muttered, biting his lip. "I have to go out with Kevin after, but they're going to be at least another half hour here. Why don't we go for coffee?"

Jensen bit his lip, debating for a second. He didn't want to cause any problems between Jared and Kevin, but... But he wanted his best friend back, like they'd been before... before. After another moment, he nodded. "Sure."

Jared grinned. "Great." 

Kevin protested their leaving in the only way he could, by whining that they had a date right after this, but Jared promised he would be back in time and ushered Jensen out of the shop. They ended up going into a little cafe just down the street, both unwilling to stray far should things between them turn sour. They bought their drinks and grabbed a table, and Jared realised with a pang that Jensen still took his coffee exactly the same way as he always had. He bowed his head, stirring packet after packet of sugar into his own mug, and searched for words that had come so easily mere minutes ago. He found none.

Jensen idly swirled his coffee, searching for a topic of conversation that wouldn't lead to a fight—he didn't want that, not on his (probably) last trip home. Eventually he settled on saying, "So. Never pegged for you for the kind to work in a boutique." Jensen could feel the small smile on his face threatening to slip, but he wanted to try to make things at least a little better between them. He'd missed Jared in every way possible these past five years.

Jared smiled softly. "It's only temporary," he answered wryly. "Took a year out to decide what I want to do with my degree; had to earn money somehow." A sip of coffee was followed by a deep, grounding breath, and he found the courage to voice the question that he'd been dying to ask for the past five years. "What about you? I know you didn't come to UT, so..."

Jensen shrugged guiltily. He and Jared had been planning on going to University of Texas, had planned on being together, period. "I went to MontanaStateUniversity. Going into grad school now for my Master's in social studies and history, and a teaching license." He didn't say why he went; it was the elephant in the room whenever they'd been in the same room. It hadn't gone away.

Jared nodded, his gaze back on his coffee. Logically he'd known that Jensen had transferred to another college, but it hurt to have it confirmed; hurt even more to hear that Jensen had continued with the plan he'd had back when they were in high school, just without Jared as a part of it. _Fuck_. "That sounds good," he managed weakly, a slight tremor to his voice. "Always said you'd make a great teacher."

Jensen shrugged. "It's been... difficult," he admitted, unable to resist the old instinct of opening up to Jared. Damn the bastard, but Jensen still cared, and he didn't know if it would be easier or not if he didn't. "Being so far away from..." _You._ "Everyone."

Jared hummed in understanding. "I can imagine," he said softly. "Mackenzie still comes over to see Megan sometimes; I know that they miss you." _They're not the only ones._

Jensen shrugged and glanced away uneasily. "Yeah. So..." He glanced at his watch; they still had fifteen minutes before they had to be back at the bakery. "How did you meet Kevin?" _How did you come out?_ was the unspoken question.

Jared looked away. He knew exactly what Jensen was asking, but he couldn't answer that, not now. Jensen didn't deserve that answer. "Uh, through work. He came into the shop with another groom-to-be not long after I started working there. We, um... We hit it off." That wasn't true. Kevin had pestered Jared for weeks before he'd agreed to go out with him, mostly to shut him up—but Jensen didn't need to know that.

Jensen nodded. He could tell Jared was holding some part of the story back, but he didn't have the right to push, not anymore. "I dated a bit," he admitted. "None of them were any good for more than a date or two." Because none of them could live up to Jared, so Jensen had finally quit trying. It wasn't fair to any of those involved. "How've your parents been?"

"Good," Jared answered, feeling more and more awkward by the second. "Dad retired, but nothing else has changed much. Mom's still infatuated with her garden." This may have seemed like an irrelevant piece of information to an outsider, but Jared knew that Jensen remembered all the times they'd ran through her flowerbeds as kids, and passed out in them as teenagers, just to piss her off. "You should tell them you're back in town, I'm sure they'd like to see you."

Jensen grinned, remembering all the time Sherri Padalecki had yelled at them to "get out of my dang flowers, you hoodlums!" "I might," he conceded. "Might as well; plane tickets are expensive, and so's gas. Don't know when I'll be able to come back."

Jared heard what Jensen wasn't saying: he had no intentions of coming back. Swallowing down his disappointment as well as the last of his coffee, Jared stood up. "We should probably go and find everyone before we get into trouble," he he sighed. "Thanks for this, Jensen. It was... nice."

Jensen nodded, finishing his coffee as well. They were halfway back to the bakery when Jensen reached out and tentatively laid a hand on Jared's shoulder. "Jared," he said hesitantly. "You know I... Well, I never wanted us to not be friends, okay?"

Jared stopped dead in his tracks, all of the breath leaving him in a whoosh. "Then maybe you shouldn't have left," he murmured, voice low and wounded. It was an unfair statement. Jared knew full well why Jensen had disappeared without a trace, and Jared couldn't blame him for it—but he _could_ blame him for not hearing Jared out all those years ago, for ignoring his calls and moving to another state without giving Jared a chance to explain himself. Forcing himself to move, Jared walked the few remaining feet to the bakery and went inside, into Kevin's waiting arms.

Jensen swallowed down the hurt as Jared walked away—just like Jensen had five years ago. He didn't have any right to be hurt; he'd known what he was doing to Jared, and he'd done it anyway.

***

"I can't _believe_ the nerve of that bastard!" Jensen exploded once he and Josh were alone in the study. "He attacked me for leaving, and he's the whole reason I left in the first place!"  
"Yeah, but Jensen, you didn't even give him a chance to explain," Josh said mildly, looking over the receipts from various stores.  
"What was there to explain?" Jensen snarled, whirling to glare at Josh. "I found him in bed with that tramp—"  
"Who _you_ said he was okay to _keep_ dating when you two got together because he didn't want to come out!" Josh snapped, glaring right back at Jensen. "You knew Jared wouldn't sleep with her, you knew he was two wrapped up in you. And you _still_ jumped to conclusions, dumped him, and skipped town. How the hell else is he supposed to feel? It's been _five years_ , Jensen!"  
Jensen sank into an armchair, the fight going out of him. "I know. I just—I'm still so fucking in love with him that it hurts. It hurts every time I see him, and that damned wedding planner of yours is wrapped around him like a second skin."  
"So you're jealous."  
"Yeah," Jensen admitted softly. "I am. _I_ used to be Jared's second skin. I used to be able to touch him, joke with him, and now... Jesus. I fucked everything up so badly." He buried his face in his hands, screwing his eyes shut and trying to keep the tears at bay.  
Josh hummed in agreement, the receipts rustling. "That you did."

***

Jared winced when he heard the sound of his front door slamming. He'd gone out with Kevin after they'd left the bakery as planned, but it had been a tense affair, far more awkward than it had been between Jensen and Jared at the cafe earlier, and now that they were back behind closed doors, the shit was about to hit the fan. Sure enough, Kevin exploded as soon as he joined Jared in the kitchen.

"What the hell happened today?" he demanded.

Jared grimaced. "What do you mean? You dragged me to the bakery, I saw Jensen, we went out, now we're back. That's what happened today."

"That's not what I mean. You went out with Jensen!"

"We went for coffee, like you bugged us to do on the first day. So what?"

"So are you still in love with him?!" Kevin shrieked.

Jared didn't even hesitate. "No," he lied. "Jesus Christ, paranoid much? Yes, he's an ex, but he's also been my best friend since we were in diapers. Maybe we want to get that back—it doesn't mean I want to bend him over."

Kevin immediately softened, his expression sheepish. "I'm sorry, baby," he murmured, setting Jared's teeth on edge with the endearment. "That was unfair. I know you love me." He held out a hand. "Come to bed?"

This time, Jared did hesitate—but he slid his hand into Kevin's all the same and allowed himself to be pulled into the bedroom. If he thought about Jensen the whole time, well, no one else had to know.

***  
Jensen took a deep breath before he opened his car door. The Padalecki house—aside from the new paint on the shutters—looked just as he remembered it. Jensen was lost in memories for a moment. Then he shook his head, got out of the car, and walked up to the door, knocking three times and praying that whoever opened it wouldn't slam it in his face.

The door was answered by Sherri, and after staring at Jensen for a long moment as though she simply couldn't believe her eyes, she grabbed him by the shoulders and dragged him into a fierce hug. "Well I'll be damned! Jensen Ackles, what the hell are you doing here?" she demanded, but she was beaming when she pulled back. "Come in, come in! Good Lord, boy, you are a sight for sore eyes. How long has it been? Jared said you were back in town, but I never thought that you'd—Gerry! Gerry! Guess who's here!" Sherri, always easily distracted, turned her back on Jensen and bustled off into the house, leaving him to follow.

Jensen, still in shock from the enthusiastic greeting, meekly followed the older woman through the house, noting that not a lot of the decor had changed. Just some newer pictures; Jensen couldn't look at the ones of Jared.

Gerry was sat at the kitchen table with that day's paper and a glass of Sherri's lemonade; he looked up at Jensen over his reading glasses and while his smile wasn't as wide as Sherri's had been, it was no less genuine. "Jensen! Sit down. It's good to see you, son."

Jensen smiled at Gerry, the man who'd basically been Jensen's second father. "Good to see you, too, sir," he greeted, accepting a glass of lemonade with another smile for Sherri.

Gerry folded his paper and set his glasses down on the table, looking Jensen over with sharp eyes. "You look good," he said at last. "Grew up while you were away. Which I suppose is something of a touchy subject." He exchanged a glance with his wife, who had taken the seat beside him, before leaning forwards. "Where have you been, son?" he asked gently. 

Jensen shrugged. "Montana," he replied. "University, y'know." After a few awkward starts, they finally started chatting like they'd used to while Sherri bustled around the kitchen, singing under her breath just the way Jensen remembered her doing when he was younger.

Jensen was having a pretty good time, and had almost forgotten about the constant ache that was Jared's absence when Jared walked into the kitchen.

Everything stopped. The only movement in the room was Gerry's eyes, which were flicking rapidly back and forth between Jared and Jensen, who were staring at each other as though they weren't sure if the world had just ended or righted itself. He privately hoped it was the latter.

"Jared?" Gerry prompted when it became apparent that no one else was willing to break the spell. "Not that I'm complaining, son, but what are you doing here?"

Jared dragged his gaze away from Jensen and to his father. "Megan said mom wanted me home for lunch," he answered, and then realised how stupid he sounded. Sherri had stopped summoning Jared home for meals many moons ago.

As though to prove this fact, Sherri wiped her hands on a dish rag and walked toward him. "Baby, you know you're welcome any time, but I didn't ask Meggie to tell you that. I wouldn't, not with..." She trailed off, but they all heard the end of her sentence regardless. _Not with Jensen here._

Jared, of course, had already realised this. His mom would never put either of them in this position. The only other conclusion was that he'd been played. By his baby sister. He was going to kill her.

"Well, never mind," he said with a shrug, feeling an embarrassed flush making its way up his neck. "Maybe Megan made a mistake. It's not a big deal. I'll just get going."

"No, don't," Jensen broke in, looking at Jared almost pleadingly. "You're here, might as well stay for lunch, right?" When Jared still looked unsure, Jensen decided to take a chance. "I'll help you hunt down Meg," he coaxed.

That was such a Jensen thing to say, promising to help Jared get revenge on his bratty sibling. How could Jared refuse such an offer? "Yeah, okay," he agreed, grinning helplessly. He couldn't have been the only one who heard Gerry's sigh of relief.

Jensen beamed at Jared, a genuine smile this time. Lunch was simple cold cut sandwiches, chips, and lemonade. Megan didn't come down for lunch—probably fearing Jared's retribution, and once they were done eating, Jensen got up and stretched. "Shall we go hunt down a varmint?" he drawled, grinning at Jared, feeling relaxed in the other man's presence for the first time in years.

"Now you boys leave her alone," Sherri chided them, but her eyes were sparkling with amusement. "She's just a young girl; she doesn't need grown men like you two ganging up on her."

It was exactly what Jared needed to hear—a variant of the words his mom had used on them nearly every day back when they were kids. He stood up, grinning back at Jensen and feeling more carefree than he had in five years. "Come on. She's in my old room."

Jensen snickered as they walked down the hall and up the stairs. "I'll distract her, you jump her?" he suggested.

Jared nodded. They paused outside of the bedroom that now belonged to Megan, and Jared flattened himself against the wall beside the door. Megan would probably stay inside her room to talk to Jensen until he drew her out, which meant that she wouldn't see Jared until it was too late.

As predicted, Megan opened the door when Jensen knocked, but didn't cross the threshold. "Hey Jensen," she greeted him warily. "Long time no see. What, did you get beamed up to Mars or something?"

"Not Mars; Saturn," Jensen said, smiling at Megan. "What happened to you, get kidnapped by bikers?"

"No," Megan snorted, scowling. Jared had to fight not to laugh. It was true: she did look a bit scary these days with the heavily-applied black eye makeup and the nose ring that had nearly given Sherri a coronary. "This is just how I dress now. You'd know that if you hadn't been so busy getting probed by aliens for the last five years."

"At least I was getting some," Jensen retorted. "You've probably scared off all the boys in Richardson."

Megan rolled her eyes. "Please. You're old and you're gay. You have no idea what guys my age look for in girls." She tossed her hair over her shoulder and raised an eyebrow. "So are you just up here to insult my appearance or is there something you want?"

"What, I can’t insult my second sister?" Jensen cried in mock-outrage. "C'mere you little—" He reached out and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close and giving her a noogie. He tossed a grin at Jared over Meg's shoulder.

Jared took his cue and pounced, wrapping his arms around Megan's middle and lifting her easily away from Jensen.

"What?!" Megan shrieked, outraged, as her feet left the floor. "You _bastards_! Jared, I'm gonna kill you so fucking dead!"

Jared just laughed and carried his sister back into her room, letting Jensen follow and shut the door behind him. "It's me who should be killing you," he insisted, dropping Megan onto the bed and sitting on her. She kicked and squirmed and swore revenge, but he refused to budge. "Sending that text about mom wanting me home for dinner? How stupid do you think I am?"

Megan went limp. She peered up at Jensen, watching to see what he thought of this. "Well it worked, didn't it?"

"It worked," Jensen admitted, sitting on Megan's feet so she couldn't kick out. "But it was still a stupid thing to do. What if one of us had just turned around and walked out? Then Jared probably really would kill you, or I just might've."

Megan huffed, looking like the petulant teenager she was. "I knew that wouldn't happen," she insisted, and then added in a much smaller voice, "I just wanted my brother back." She wasn't just talking about Jensen; Jared hadn't been the same since Jensen left.

Jensen glanced up at Jared before swallowing heavily and looking back at Megan. "Yeah. I know what you mean," he murmured. Then he gave himself a little shake. "Still, that was a sneaky, underhanded thing to do." Jensen reached over and laid a hand on Jared's shoulder, offering up a conspiratorial grin. "And what do we do with sneaky, underhanded siblings?"

Jared grinned right back. "We tickle them!" he cried, and together they leapt on Megan, attacking her with quick, merciless fingers.

Downstairs, Sherri and Gerry listened to their daughter's shrieks of laughter and exchanged hopeful looks. Maybe things could start to get back to normal now.

Afterwards, Megan had gone downstairs to get a drink, claiming her throat hurt from all the laughing, and Jared and Jensen were collapsed on the bed, leaning comfortably against each other. It was strange, Jensen thought, how easy they slipped back into being best friends, after everything that had happened. He stared at the ceiling for another moment before he spoke. "I'm glad I came back," he said softly, still looking at the ceiling.

Jared rolled his head on his shoulders to peer curiously at Jensen. "Yeah?" he asked, surprised and yet not. "Me too."

Jensen turned his head to smile at Jared, but the movement brought them within inches of each other. He stared at Jared, his gaze dipping down briefly to Jared's mouth, memories of kissing it flashing through his mind.  He flushed and jerked his head back up to stare at the ceiling. _You have no business thinking about that,_ Jensen scolded himself. _Not anymore._

Jared felt his cheeks heat and he cursed himself. Jensen must have seen how badly Jared wanted to kiss him in his eyes, and now things were awkward again. To save himself the pain of having Jensen walk out first, Jared got up. "I should probably go," he mumbled, not quite looking at Jensen. "I have dinner plans with... With Kevin. But I'll see you around?" He couldn't help the hopeful tone with which he asked the question; he needed to believe that today hadn't been a fluke. 

Jensen mentally cursed himself for making things awkward, but he pasted a grin on his face. "Sure. Seems pretty stupid for us to avoid each other while we're in the same town," he agreed.

Jared just about managed to stop himself from sagging in relief. They went downstairs together, and while Gerry sensed that things weren't quite right, Sherri tried her hardest to persuade them to stay a little longer. Jensen acquiesced, which made it easier for Jared to bow out. He said goodbye to everyone, gave his mom permission to give Jensen his number if he asked for it, and took his leave of them.

He didn't have dinner plans with Kevin. In fact, Kevin had dinner plans with his brother, so when Jared got back to his apartment the first thing he did was open a bottle of wine. The second thing he did was open a pint of ice cream. It was the most clichéd thing he could possibly do, but by the time both were empty and he was finally crawling into bed, he was too exhausted to spend much time wishing that Jensen was there with him.

Still, he dreamed of Jensen. Jared's subconscious hated him that way.

***  
Jensen stared at his phone, brow furrowed as he tried to remember when the hell he'd gotten Jared's number. Not from Jared, that was for—  
Jensen groaned as he remembered Megan swiping his phone, ostensibly to try to find more evidence of what Jensen had been doing in the five years since he'd left. She must've programmed it in then.   
Jensen stared at the numbers, debating, and then decided that it couldn't hurt... Well, it could, but Jensen had apparently developed one hell of a masochistic streak.  
 _Hey, it's Jensen. Think your sis hijacked my phone just to put your number in._

Jared didn't receive the text until the next morning, and by then he was far too hungover to read it, let alone consider replying to it. Instead, he dragged himself into the shower, forced himself to eat some breakfast, fielded a sickly-sweet 'good morning, baby!' phonecall from Kevin, and went to work. He didn't remember the message until his lunch break.

"What the fuck do I do about this?" Jared asked, passing his phone over the counter. 

Chad had been fired from his last job for badmouthing the boss, again, so on the days when Sophia couldn't stand his presence anymore, he swung by the boutique to watch Jared eat and badmouth Jensen. That last part was new to the routine, but Jared had yet to punch him because it helped to have someone to talk to about all this who wasn't his jealous and overbearing boyfriend. "Well, I think the best course of action is to text him back," Chad observed lightly. "You do want to text him back, right?"

Jared sighed. "I don't know! I mean, it was big of him to text me, but if Megan had to plant my number in his phone, then he didn't actually want it. Maybe he's just texting me so that I know Meg is in need of a hiding."

"I doubt that," Chad snorted. "From what you told me about how at home he made himself yesterday, he'd just dish it out himself and let Megan tell you why. Here." He pressed a few buttons and handed the phone back. Jared promptly choked on his sandwich.

_She's a little shit, I swear. But helpful sometimes. You wanna go out tonight?_

***

She's a little shit, I swear. But helpful sometimes. You wanna go out tonight?

Jensen spewed his drink across the kitchen table, flushing when Donna and Alan each raised an eyebrow simultaneously. "Funny text," he muttered, shoving his phone in his pocket and grabbing some paper towels to wipe up the mess. Then he sat back down at the table, chewing on his lower lip as he typed up a reply.

_Sure. Chris's bar?_

***

"Oh my god, he said yes."

Chad beamed. "See! You should trust me! So can you please stop whacking me with the bridal catalogue?"

Jared reluctantly put the rolled-up catalogue down, but he continued to glare at Chad. "If this goes sour, I'm gonna fucking gut you."

"I don't doubt it, Jayman," Chad said solemnly. "But it won't come to that."

Jared just gritted his teeth and focused on replying to Jensen.

_Okay. 7?_

_Sounds good._

"Well, haven't seen you smile like that in a while," Donna commented, getting up to gather the dirty dishes.

Jensen shrugged. "Jared and I are going out tonight."

Donna and Alan exchanged a look. "As...?"

Jensen stared at them in confusion for a moment before the implication hit him. "Oh! Jesus, no, we're just—it's just a night out, like we used to do all the time." _Before we started secretly dating._

Donna looked vaguely disappointed, while Alan looked... relieved. "Glad to see you two getting along now," he said, nodding.

Jensen let one corner of his mouth quirk upwards. "Me too."

***

Jared arrived a little late, but absolutely not because he'd spent over an hour in front of his wardrobe before deciding on a simple maroon button down and jeans. He caught sight of Jensen immediately and waved to let him know he'd seen him before heading over to the bar to get himself a beer. 

"Hey," he greeted when he finally reached Jensen's table, sliding into the seat opposite him. "Sorry I'm late; taxi took forever to arrive. How are you?"

"Pretty good," Jensen said, grinning. It was typical for Jared to be a little late; he'd never been on time during high school. They settled into an easy conversation, and Jensen marveled at the fact that he hadn't had this great of a time on an outing since... Well, since he and Jared broke up. It was nice.

"So," Jared began, and was immediately aware that he was on dangerous territory. Still, he wanted to know, and they were on their fourth beer each; if this turned out to be a bad move, he could always blame it on being a lightweight. He took another swig from his bottle and started again. "So, you said you'd dated some? How come it didn't work out?"

Jensen tensed, but when Jared started trying to apologize, Jensen waved him off. "It's fine," he insisted. He took another drink of his beer before he answered Jared's question. "Yeah, I dated, but... Well, none of them were... the right guy, y'know? I just..." _Couldn't move past you._ "Never felt anything with them." _Besides disappointment._

Jared nodded in understanding and sympathy. "I was like that," he admitted. "Dated a few guys in college, but it just wasn't happening." _They weren't you._ Jared caught himself before he could change the subject and forced himself to add, "But then I met Kevin, and—" _I was so alone and I just wanted to feel something. It didn't work._ "—now everything's great. You'll find someone, I'm sure of it." It broke Jared's heart to say it, but it was true. Jensen was easy to love.

Jensen blinked and looked down at his beer, tilting the bottle in his hands. It hurt, even through the creeping haze of alcohol, to hear Jared say how great he and Kevin were doing. "Yeah, sure," he said softly, but even he could hear how disbelieving he sounded. Jared was it for him, he'd figured that out when he'd been so, so tempted to forgive Jared for sleeping with Sandy.

The conversation turned to slightly less awkward topics after that and they somehow managed to get through several more beers without bringing up anything painful. When at last Jared remembered that he had to get up for work in the morning, Jensen suggested that they go for a walk to clear their heads and hopefully avoid a hangover. They were quiet once they got outside, but Jared didn't mind. The silence was a companionable one and the air on his face was cool and refreshing; he was more than content to simply concentrate on walking in a straight line with Jensen by his side. 

It was after the fifth time Jared bumped into him that Jensen finally got up the (drunken) courage to ask the question that had been bugging him since he'd learned Jared was dating another guy, and was out. "How did you come out? Why..." _Why with that jackass, and not with me?_

"What?" Jared looked over at Jensen, squinting so that there was only one of him instead of three. Even this plastered, he knew that he had to be careful here. Jensen could never know the real answer to this question. Even so, what came out of his mouth, while not a lie, probably wasn't the best thing he could have said. "Oh, y'know how it is. Ya find the right guy, ya'd do anythin' for'm. So I jus' told 'em."

"Oh," Jensen said quietly, blinking back tears. He heard Jared's unspoken message loud and clear: _You weren't the right guy. You were an experiment._ "Yeah." Catching sight of a taxi coming close, Jensen stepped forward to hail it. "I'm gonna—I'm gonna walk home. You take the taxi." He didn't wait for Jared's answer, instead striding off down the sidewalk, one hand pressed to his face, trying to hold himself together, at least until he got home.

Jared tumbled into the back of the taxi, feeling confused and like he'd just royally fucked up, but not really knowing why. He just about managed to give the driver his address, which thankfully wasn't so far that he fell asleep on the way—he'd done that before—and gave a pretty hefty tip along with the fare because he couldn't see the money properly. 

Kevin was in his bed, a fact which Jared realised with almost crippling disappointment. He didn't want Kevin, he wanted Jensen—but Jensen didn't want him, so Jared crawled into bed next to his unconscious boyfriend and passed out before he could even consider feeling sorry for himself.

When he woke up the next morning, he had no recollection of anything that had happened after they'd left the bar.

***

Luckily the only person home was Josh when Jensen arrived. Josh took one look at Jensen and immediately dragged him into the kitchen. "What happened?" he demanded, sitting Jensen in a chair and shoving a glass of water at him.  
"Jared doesn't love me," Jensen hiccuped, taking a long drink.  
"What're you talking about, Jense? Of course Jared loves you! He was so fucked up when you ended things, don't you remember?"  
Jensen shook his head. "No, he never—never like that," he whispered, throat burning, and _now_ he remembered why he didn't drink: He got really emotional when he was drunk. "Said I was an experiment."  
Josh stared at Jensen in shock. _Jared_ had said that everything with Jensen—something Josh had seen coming from a mile off, and something Jensen had been wanting since he was fifteen and realized he was gay—was just an _experiment_? "I'll kill the bastard myself," he snarled, making to stand, but Jensen just shook his head morosely.  
"No point. I'm leaving again after the wedding. I'll never cross paths with him again."

***

Jared didn't see or hear from Jensen again for the next week, and he was too cowardly to get in touch himself. He still had no idea what had happened the night they went out, but he was getting the impression that he'd fucked up. Had he maybe told Jensen that he still had feelings for him?

Whatever he'd done, Jared was hoping that he would find out today. Josh's wedding party was due in around noon to pick up their suits, and Jared would be sitting at the front desk when they arrived. He just hoped that it wasn't too late to fix whatever he'd done.

Jensen had tried to convince Josh that he didn't need to be there to pick up the tux, but everyone had insisted he go. Jensen had spent the last week acting like the coward he was, avoiding Jared completely. It still stung like a bitch, knowing that Jared had, apparently, not considered Jensen important to clue him in to the important fact that every touch, every kiss, had all been trial one in Jared's Experiment in Sexuality.

Jared looked up when he heard the bell above the door chime, immediately seeking out Jensen and offering him a small smile. "Hey guys. Everything you need is in the back, on the rail marked 'Ackles'. Frank said that it shouldn't be necessary, but if you want to try them on before you take them, he can make any last-minute adjustments."

Josh saw the flash of hurt in his brother's eyes before Jensen smoothed it out, and he had to suppress his own flash of irritation. "Yeah, we'll do that," he said, motioning for the rest of the guys to go find their racks. "You coming or staying?" he murmured to Jensen.

Jensen bit his lip, then glanced over at Jared, his expression hardening. "Staying. I need to straighten some things out."

Jared startled at the cold look in Jensen's eyes, but he stood his ground, waiting until they were alone to speak. "What's on your mind?" he asked cautiously.

Jensen snorted. "Really? You have to ask that? I thought we used to be friends, Jared—Hell, I used to think we might even be more. Apparently that was all in my head, though, huh?"

"What?" Now Jared was completely confused. What on earth had he done that night to convince Jensen that he meant nothing to him? "Of course it wasn't in your head. We _were_ friends—we were a lot more than that. Where is this coming from?"

"Don't act like this is a complete surprise," Jensen hissed. "What, did you think you could just use me as an experiment without me finding out eventually? If all you wanted to do back then was experiment, Jared, you should've just said."

Jared sucked in a sharp breath, feeling hurt pierce his chest. "Jensen, _what_ are you talking about?" he demanded, stricken. "You were never an experiment; what we had was so much more. Why don't you know that?"

"Why don't I—" Jensen had to take a deep breath and force his clenched hands to relax. "I don't know _what_ to think I know anymore, Jared. I _thought_ that you just didn't want to risk your parents' or friends' disapproval—which made _no_ sense since they already knew I was gay, so why would they care if you were? I _thought_ you meant it when you swore Sandy was fine with being just a cover. I _never_ thought you would decide the most convenient way to figure out your sexuality would be to use your best friend as an experiment." Jensen hitched in another breath, dangerously close to tears. "I used to think I wanted to spend every day of the rest of my life with you," he whispered. "Now, if I never see you again, it'll be too soon."

Without waiting for an answer, Jensen spun on his heel and as good as fled the shop.

Jared swayed on the spot, feeling like his heart was breaking all over again. Jensen hadn't meant that last part, Jared refused to believe otherwise—but why had he felt compelled to say it? What had Jared done to make Jensen feel that way?

Jared still hadn't moved when Josh came back, and he could feel the contempt with which he was being regarded. Still, he didn't try to hide the tears pooling in his eyes when he met Josh's gaze. 

Jesus, Josh never could resist either of those two morons whenever they were ready to cry. "What did the stubborn jackass do now?" he sighed.

Jared just shook his head. "I don't know what I've done to fuck it up this time, Josh," he whispered brokenly, too upset to even consider censoring himself. "But I love him with all of my heart."

Josh eyed Jared speculatively. "'Love'?" he echoed, debating with himself for a moment. Then he nodded to himself. "Fine. Look, I know my pain-in-the-ass little sibling's probably said some shit he don't mean, but you should know that when it comes to emotions, ya gotta take everything Jensen says with a grain of salt." He reached over and clapped Jared on the shoulder. "Bachelor party's on the fourteenth, two days before the wedding. We're all meeting at Tempo Vita at eleven that night. You're welcome to join us."

Jared took a deep breath, trying to ignore the way it shuddered in his chest. He wanted to ask Josh if he was sure, but he knew better than to push his luck. "Thank you," he said at last, blinking away his tears. "I'll be there."

***

Jensen glared around the crowded main room of Tempo Vita. The lights, combined with the stupid thumping bass of the shit the DJ called music, were giving him a massive headache. _Which,_ Jensen acknowledged to himself with a scowl, _is not being helped by alcohol._ Or the pain of missing Jared. Not that Jensen would admit even _that_ to himself, not after he'd completely fucked everything up that day in the shop.

He'd only come to the club tonight because it was Josh's bachelor party, and as best man, he was expected there. Jensen figured since he wasn't doing a spectacular job of being the best man so far, he at least owed Josh this much.

Downing the last of his drink, Jensen slipped off of his stool and onto the dance floor, letting the swaying bodies, pulsing lights, and thumping beat guide him into a half-aware state as he danced.

Jared arrived a lot later than usual, due to a traffic accident not far from his apartment. He hurried up to the group and greeted everyone who wasn't already dancing, downing the shot that Josh handed to him with great enthusiasm. And the next, and the next. Pleasantly buzzed, he looked at the few people sat with him, but was disappointed to see that Jensen was not among them. It must have shown on his face because soon Josh was pushing him onto the dance floor and as shit as the music was, Jared soon found himself getting lost in the beat and the mass of writhing bodies surrounding him. 

Josh watched from the bar, a smug smirk on his face, as Jared and Jensen unerringly found each other on the dance floor—though it didn't seem like they knew that they were now undoubtedly dancing _with_ each other.

Jensen was having a surprisingly good time. There was a tall, lean, but muscled body pressed up against him, the lights were just intense enough that he kept his eyes half-closed, and the music had changed to something halfway decent. He could almost pretend it was Prom night all over again.

Jared's thoughts were also on Prom night as he danced up against his mystery guy. He'd gone with Sandy and had danced with her all night, just to save face, but when everyone had converged on the floor for one last song, he'd managed to make his way to Jensen. For three glorious minutes they'd danced together like they'd never been able to before, and it had been enough to make the whole night perfect.

Tonight, however, Jared wasn't even afforded his three minutes of bliss. Suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder and he was being wrenched away from the other guy. Spinning to face whoever had interrupted him, Jared was surprised to find Kevin glaring up at him, flushed bright red with fury and gesticulating wildly. The music was too loud for him to be heard properly, but at last Jared caught the words, "You're _my_ boyfriend now, _not his_!"

Once again, Jared turned, and was shocked when he found himself staring into familiar green eyes. He'd been dancing with Jensen all along. _Shit_.

Jensen stared at Kevin, then Jared, aghast. He'd been— _Holy fuck,_ he'd been dancing with _Jared._ And Jared had a boyfriend. Who _wasn't_ Jensen. A boyfriend whom Jared loved enough to risk coming out for. He swallowed once, hard, managed to stammer out an unheard, "I'm gonna—just—" 

Then he turned and ran. Off of the dance floor, out of the club, and all the way to a taxi.

Due to Kevin dragging him back around to face him, Jared didn't see Jensen leave. Instead, he occupied himself with shrugging Kevin's hand off him and doing some gesticulating of his own, shouting things like, "Paranoid!" and, "Possessive bastard!" and ultimately, "You know what, Kevin? This just isn't working. _It's over!_ "

These last two words were yelled just as the song came to an end, and they rang out loud and clear all through the club. Embarrassed and angry, Jared turned to find Jensen, but he was gone. Surely he had to have heard that though, right? He couldn't have gone far; he was just right there!

Abruptly Jared noticed that Kevin looked like he was about to punch him, and Jared was just far too drunk to deal with any of this. He moved around Kevin and pushed his way through the crowd—by now another song had started up and his outburst had been forgotten—until he got outside. The last thing he saw before he left the club was Kevin making his way over to Josh, presumably intending to cry on his shoulder. 

***

After managing to calm Kevin down, and convince him that yes, he was still going to get paid for all of his hard work, even if Jensen was being a dick and stealing Kevin's now-ex-boyfriend, Josh finally went home. He found Jensen in the guest bedroom, flopped facefirst onto the bed. Josh bounced on the bed next to Jensen, ignoring the younger Ackles's snort of protest. "So. You made a right mess of things."

Jensen cracked one eye open to glare at him. "Fuck off, Josh. I don't wanna hear it." Jensen grabbed a pillow and yanked it over his head, pulling the ends down tightly to block out all noise.

Which is why he didn't hear Josh say, "You know Jared left Kevin for you, right?"

***

"Do you think I'm a horrible person?"

Chad snorted, causing Jared to wince as static crackled down the line. "No, Jayman. For all that he pretended otherwise, Kevin knew you were still hung up on Jensen. He was in it for whatever he could get."

Jared sighed. "Six months is a long time to stay with someone out of convenience," he pointed out.

"Are you hearing yourself right now?" Chad asked, amused.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, but—"

"Besides, whatever he was with you for, he must have known it was game over as soon as Jensen walked into that shop."

Jared passed a hand over his face. "I feel like shit, Chad."

"What for?"

"For _not_ feeling like shit? Even if Jensen doesn't take me back, leaving Kevin is worth it. I wasn't happy with him anyway and I just..." Jared huffed out a laugh. "I love Jensen so much."

"Yeah," Chad said, and Jared could practically feel him rolling his eyes. "Tell me something I don't know, you pansy."

***  
The day of the wedding was, in a word, chaotic. Everyone was rushing around trying to finish last-minute chores, Josh was panicking only slightly, and Jensen was sticking close to Josh, reassuring him every time Josh seemed to be on the verge of freaking out.  
Eventually, they all moved to the church, and everyone took their spots for the actual ceremony. As the music started playing for Allison's march down the aisle, Jensen let his gaze roam over the crowd sitting in the pews. With a pang, Jensen recognized Jared—the man still looked indescribably handsome in a suit—but he forced himself to keep looking, to not let himself linger, no matter how much he wanted to.

For all that the lead-up had been chaotic, the wedding itself went off without a hitch. Afterwards, Jared listened to people commenting on everything from the stunning flower arrangements to the bride's dress to the tears in Josh's eyes when he said 'I do'—but he was completely unable to join in. Allison had looked amazing, and Josh had looked so happy, but that was about as much as Jared knew. When everyone else's gaze had been fixed upon the happy couple, his had been fixed upon Jensen—and he was by far the most beautiful person in the room.

At the reception, Jared kept to himself. He congratulated Josh and Allison, left his gift on the table with the others, got a drink and found a corner to sequester himself in. Mackenzie came over at one point to say hi, but that was about it. Still, after a few glasses of champagne, Jared thought he might have mustered up the courage to approach Jensen, who had been watching him on and off all night. When the song changed to something slow, it gave him the final push he needed.  
Jared got up and walked over to where Jensen was sitting, with a couple other groomsmen and a bridesmaid, and tentatively held out a hand. "Dance with me?"

Jensen glanced from Jared's hand to his face, uncertain. "What about Kevin?" he asked, looking around for Jared's shadow.

Jared blinked, bemused. Kevin wasn't a problem anymore—but then, considering how he'd behaved at the club the other night, maybe Jensen's concern was understandable. Not that it mattered. Jared shrugged. "Kevin's not here."

Jensen thought about it for a second—not that it mattered, he knew what his choice would be. "Okay," he said, nodding and standing. He took Jared's hand and let Jared lead him out onto the dance floor with the other couples. He saw Josh and Ally a little ways away, too wrapped up in each other to notice anything else, and Chris was dancing with his date, Beth. "I haven't done any dancing like this since Prom," he warned, a tentative smile on his lips.

"That's okay," Jared murmured, sliding his hand down to the small of Jensen's back. "I'll lead."

Jensen swallowed hard, relaxing a little bit more into Jared as the song went on and they moved around the dance floor. It felt nice—felt fucking great, actually—but Jensen knew it wouldn't last. Kevin may not be here right now, but he would be soon. Then Jensen would have to leave, and—

Fuck it. Jensen wasn't going to think about any of that. Right now he was just going to think about Jared, Jared's arms around him, and let the alcohol cloud his mind enough to let him enjoy this for once.

Jared couldn't believe it. Jensen had said yes and now they were in each other's arms, Jared's nose brushing Jensen's hairline in an oddly intimate way as they swayed together. People were watching them, but Jared didn't care. He hadn't felt this at peace since before Jensen left him, and he knew that Jensen felt the same way. Nothing else mattered, so Jared closed his eyes, pressed his lips to Jensen's temple, and danced.

By the time the song was over, Jensen was feeling more relaxed than he had in years. His head was resting on Jared's shoulder, his face tucked into the crook of Jared's neck, and they weren't so much dancing anymore as just swaying together. "I don't want this to end," he whispered brokenly.

"It doesn't have to," Jared murmured back, but just as he spoke the song changed, and this one was far more upbeat. Sighing, he pulled back and slid his hand into Jensen's instead, giving him  soft smile. "Come on. Let's get a drink."

Jensen hesitated only a moment before nodding. "Okay." Honestly, right about now, Jensen would follow Jared to the ends of the earth and beyond.

They somehow ended up with new glasses of champagne in their hands as soon as they got off the dance floor, and Jared led Jensen back to his corner so that they could have some privacy. "Look at them," he sighed, watching Josh twirl Allison under his arm and then spin her back in, both of them grinning madly. "Don't they look so happy?"

Jensen leaned against Jared, anxious for just a little more contact before he had to leave the next morning. He took a sip from the champagne flute, and then nodded. "Yeah. They do," he said quietly. They were both silent for a moment, and then Jensen said wistfully, "I used to think we'd end up like that—them." He gestured emphatically with his arm at his brother and sister-in-law. "Happy, together. Nothing to tear us apart."

Jared cut his gaze to Jensen, trying to read his thoughts on his face. "I like to think that there's hope for us yet," he said carefully.

Jensen shrugged, listening to the sound of the fabric of their tuxes rasping against each other as he stared morosely into his drink. "How can there be?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "I've fucked up at just about every turn."

"You're not the only one," Jared reminded him. The whole thing with Sandy might not have been his fault—and Jensen still didn't know that—but he'd made his own fair share of mistakes regardless. Thinking that he could wait until college to explain and patch things up had been one of them. He'd let Jensen slip through his fingers once; he wasn't going to let it happen again. But that was a conversation for another time.

Jensen just shrugged again. "Still. At some point, the bridge gets too burned to cross." He frowned at his drink; another reason he didn't do alcohol: he either got horribly emotional, or he made unwise decisions, or nothing he said made sense.

Jared frowned. He drained his champagne glass in one go and let the kick provide him with enough courage to put his hand on Jensen's thigh and ask, "Is that how you feel, then? Like the bridge is burned?"

Jensen couldn't look at Jared, afraid of what he would see—and of what he was hoping to see. "I think it's almost there."

"I don't want it to burn," Jared murmured, his heartbeat quickening at the thought that this might be his last chance. "Do you?"

Jensen shook his head slowly. No, he really, really did not want to burn any bridges with Jared. He still wanted—still _loved_ —Jared even after all these years. "No, I don't want it to burn," he managed to whisper, lifting his gaze to meet Jared's.

Jared didn't even hesitate. "Then don't let it," he breathed, and captured Jensen's lips in a soft, sweet kiss.

Jensen absolutely did _not_ whimper when Jared kissed him. It felt better than he'd ever dared hope; it felt like coming home. He barely managed to maintain the presence of mind to set his champagne on the floor before he was pressing closer to Jared, licking into the other man's mouth and trying to capture the intoxicating taste of Jared and champagne.

Jared gasped into the kiss and then moaned, his hand coming up to cup the back of Jensen's head while his other continued to grip Jensen's thigh. He'd never dared to dream that he would get to kiss Jensen again, but doing so all but washed away everything that had happened in the last five years. Jared was eighteen again, and he was holding the boy he loved and it was _perfect_.

When they came up for air, both were reluctant to part completely. They stayed close together and Jared couldn't resist dipping in for more light kisses between breaths. "Come on," he murmured, and kissed Jensen again. "Let's get out of here."

Jensen nodded, dipping in for another kiss before they stood up. "Where we going?" he asked, twining his fingers through Jared's.

Jared took a moment to restart his heart as it registered that Jensen had actually agreed to come with him—and then he had to think. "My place?" he suggested weakly. Other than Jensen's parents' house, it seemed to be the only option, but Jared was less than pleased with the idea. Besides the fact that the apartment was across town, all of Kevin's stuff was still there, and he didn't want either of them to be reminded of that train wreck of a relationship when they were just starting to get back on track.

Jensen shook his head, frowning in concentration. "Josh booked a hotel room for one our uncles," he offered. "He couldn't make it, though, and the room is just reserved for 'Ackles.' We could go there."

Jared grinned. "That sounds perfect," he said, giving Jensen's hand a light squeeze. "Lead the way."

***  
Jensen laughed as Jared pushed him down onto the hotel bed. They'd made a quick pit stop at a convenience store for lube, and the receptionist hadn't batted an eyelash when they checked in.

"Been so long since we've done this," Jensen groaned, pulling Jared closer. "Missed it."

Jared hummed in agreement and ducked down for a kiss, his fingers making short work of the buttons on Jensen's shirt. "Missed _you_ ," he sighed when he finally got his hands on Jensen's skin. "God, missed you so much."

Jensen nodded in agreement, helping Jared strip first him and then Jared of their clothes, desperate for skin-to-skin contact. Once that was accomplished, Jensen arched into Jared, dragging the taller man down for another kiss. "Want you so bad," he managed to breathe between kisses. "Wanna feel you in me."

Jared moaned into Jensen's mouth, his dick twitching at the thought. "Yes, anything," he promised, trailing his lips down Jensen's throat as he groped for the bag from the convenience store. "Have you... recently?"

Jensen shook his head weakly. "Not for... years," he gasped.

"Jesus," Jared hissed. So much for getting right to it—but that was okay; he wanted to take his time. Hunt for the lube temporarily abandoned, Jared let his hands wander over Jensen's skin, stroking down his sides and over his hips while Jared's mouth continued to explore. He kissed and licked his way down Jensen's body, pausing briefly to suck both nipples to hardness and dip his tongue into his navel. Once he was situated between Jensen's thighs, Jared looked up at him, taking in the flush on his chest and the lust in his eyes. Jared's breath caught in his throat. "You're so beautiful," he murmured, brushing his lips against the inside of Jensen's thigh. He found the lube and popped the cap, spreading some over his fingers, but hesitated before going any further. "Can I?"

Jensen nodded eagerly, his hips undulating with need. "God, please, Jare, been waiting five years for you," he whined, throwing his head back.

"Shhh," Jared soothed him, gently rubbing his hip. "I'll get you there." He slipped his hand down between Jensen's thighs and stroked a slick fingertip over his hole, circling briefly before slowly pressing it inside. 

Jensen keened at the pressure; it was unfamiliar after all this time, having someone else's fingers inside of him instead of his own, but _damn_ was it good—all the better because it was Jared's fingers, too.

Jared fucked his finger in and out of Jensen so slow, just to watch him squirm. He was so gorgeous like this, already strung out and desperate and they hadn't even gotten to the good part yet. But they would. When Jensen grew too impatient, Jared pulled his finger out for more lube and returned with two, gently spreading them as he pushed them into Jensen's body before crooking them and rubbing just so. Five years and Jared still knew exactly how to locate Jensen's prostate.

Jensen shouted in pleasure as Jared's fingers found his sweet spot—fuck, but Jensen had forgotten just how good Jared was at this. "Jared, please, please, ya gotta hurry up, 'm not gonna last," he whined.

Jared wanted to do as Jensen asked, but Jensen had also said that it had been _years_ —Jared wasn't going to risk hurting him. He continued his diligent process of opening Jensen up with as much care as he could manage, all the while murmuring about how good Jensen was, how sexy, how beautiful, and when Jensen was finally able to take three fingers with ease, he pulled them back for the last time. 

Not once in this whole process had Jared's own arousal become particularly urgent, so focused had he been on Jensen's pleasure, but it did now. He wiped his fingers on the bedsheets and groped desperately for the bag again, before he remembered. They'd only bought lube at the store. "Jensen," he whined, equal parts frustrated and desperate, his forehead pressed to Jensen's hip. "Condoms..."

Jensen groaned. "Fuck condoms," he growled after a moment, reaching down to card his fingers through Jared's hair, scratching lightly. "I need you too badly."

Jared shivered at Jensen's touch, and knew that he was lost. They'd never had safe sex when they were together—they'd been each other's first, and thought they would be each other's only, as well—but Jared had always used protection with his other partners. He knew he was clean, and he trusted that Jensen was too. "C'mere," he sighed, crawling up Jensen's body and kissing him hard. "Jensen, I—" The words wouldn't come, but Jared thought that Jensen could see them in his eyes. Hoping that was enough, he lubed himself up and guided himself into position, kissing Jensen again before he began to rock inside.

Jensen wouldn't let himself contemplate the look in Jared's eyes, wouldn't let himself think about or feel anything other than Jared slowly pushing inside, filling Jensen up like he used to back in high school. "Jared," he whimpered, his hands moving to clutch at Jared's shoulders as Jared kept steadily pushing in. "Jesus, feels so good..."

Jared moaned his agreement, trying hard not to lose it before they even began. Jensen felt incredible around him, tight and hot and perfect, just like he always had—and it had been far too long since Jared had felt this complete. "Jen," he choked, capturing Jensen's lips in another, desperate kiss, as he started to move. The rhythm he found was unhurried, one that allowed him to move slow and deep within Jensen at just the right angle. He wanted to savour this moment and make love to Jensen—not waste it by fucking him through the mattress. 

Jensen growled and dug his heels into Jared's ass, urging the taller man on. "Dammit, Jared," he hissed, bucking his hips. "I've been waiting five years for this; I don't want slow and sweet."

Jensen was asking for the exact opposite of what Jared wanted, but he complied all the same, drawing his hips back until he was almost all the way out and then slamming back in with a strangled groan. This time the pace was faster, more brutal, but no less perfect if the sounds Jensen was making were anything to go by. Sweat already breaking out on his forehead, Jared wrenched his mouth away from Jensen's to suck a deep, claiming bruise into the side of his throat and proceeded to fuck him senseless. 

Jensen groaned happily, arching up to meet Jared's thrusts. He could feel Jared's cock dragging over his prostate with every thrust, coiling the threads of pleasure tighter and tighter. "Jared," he gasped, clutching at Jared's shoulders frantically. "'M so close, please."

Jared responded immediately, working a hand between their sweat-slick bodies to grasp Jensen's cock. Just as close as Jensen, Jared's thrusts were starting to lose their rhythm, but he did his best to match the movement of his fist with that of his hips.

It only took a few strokes, and then Jensen was coming, his muscles clenching around Jared's cock as he shouted, Jared's name leaving him as if it had been expelled with a punch.

Jared wasn't far behind, but he had enough time to choke out a strangled, "Fuck, Jen, love you so much," before he came hard, shaking above Jensen as pleasure washed over him. 

Jensen swallowed, hard, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around Jared, guilt starting to creep in past the alcohol.

It struck with full force after the second time, when they made love, and Jensen snuck out of the hotel room before Jared woke up. He was on his flight back to Montana within the hour.

***

Jared woke up cold and alone, not at all what he'd been expecting. A quick exploration of their hotel room told him that Jensen had apparently snuck out while he was sleeping, but that didn't make any sense. They were good, weren't they? What had last night been, if not a reconciliation? It was only after he'd called Jensen and gotten straight through to his voicemail that Jared started to panic. Maybe last night had been a goodbye. 

Desperate, Jared didn't even think before dialing Josh's number, and when this call was actually answered he spoke straight over Josh's outraged protests about 'early' and 'honeymoon' in a voice so wrecked he barely recognised it as his own. "Where is he, Josh?"

Josh's protests died on his tongue at the tone of Jared's voice. "Jensen?" he asked carefully. "He had a flight for eight-fifteen this morning, Jared. Why?"

Jared sucked in a sharp breath. Jensen was gone? "He left?" he managed to choke out; his throat felt like it was closing up on him. "Why—why would he leave? Josh, we... We slept together last night. I told him I love him. Why would he leave me?"

Josh thought it over for a second, stroking Ally's hair as she slept. "Well... Does he know you broke up with Kevin? He left before you and he had that fight. If you two slept together, he's gonna feel guilty as hell."

"What? No," Jared protested immediately. "No, he must have known. Jensen wouldn't let me cheat on someone, especially not after—" He cut himself off, swallowing down the rising hysteria. "And I wouldn't either, Josh. He has to know that I'm not that person."

Josh was quiet for a moment. "How much alcohol did you guys have?" he asked finally.

Again Jared was baffled by Josh's question. "I don't know, a fair amount," he answered warily, his mind working fast. "Why, what are you saying? That I was—that I was a one night stand?" The thought was enough to make him feel sick.

"I don't know. I just know that Jensen's always been much less inhibited when he's drunk," Josh said. Ally stirred beside him on the bed, giving him a questioning look, and he smiled at her. "I got to go, Jared. Talk to him, okay? I don't want to not see my brother for five years again."

Jared didn't move for a long time after Josh hung up. He just could not process what had happened. This was the second time that Jensen had walked out on him without giving him even a second to explain himself. Jared loved Jensen with everything he had, but he had to ask himself how he'd just had a one night stand with the love of his life. Clearly, Jensen didn't feel the same way.

Eventually Jared found it in himself to get up, get dressed and go home. As soon as he got there, he called his mom. How upset he was must have been audible in his voice, because the first thing she said to him was, "Oh baby, what has that boy done to you this time?" Grown man or not, Jared was not above crying down the phone to his momma over the man who had broken his heart, and once it became apparent that she had guessed pretty much everything that had happened with Jensen all those years ago, that was exactly what he did. "Jared Tristan Padalecki, you listen to me," she said when he'd finally calmed down enough to hear her. "Jensen still loves you. It was written all over his face when you boys were here. Now you get on the phone to him and make him listen, and if he won't, well, you'll just have to fly over there and tell him to his face."

They hung up not long after that, with Jared promising to take his mother's advice. He took a shower and ate something and did pretty much anything he could think of to pass the time until an hour rolled around that seemed reasonable, and then he sat down on his sofa and stared at Jensen's number for a good twenty minutes. At last, once he'd worked up as much nerve as possible, he hit dial. It was time to make amends.

*******

Jensen had been ignoring his phone for the past two weeks, especially when the screen flashed the name "Jay." He told his friends that he was busy with classes—which was true enough, if not the whole truth—and he told his family he was working through some stuff.

Like how much he missed Jared. As soon as he'd walked out of the hotel room, the weight of guilt had started crushing him again, just like the last time he walked away. He figured he had a lot more reason to feel guilty now than he had then, though; he'd let Jared cheat on Kevin with him. Hell, he's _encouraged_ it, and pretty damn enthusiastically once they'd gotten started, too. Last time he ever got drunk, that was for damn sure.

He still missed Jared though, and every time the phone screen flashed his name, it felt like someone was twisting a knife between Jensen's ribs, digging it deeper with every ring. He wanted a clean break, though. A final burning of the bridge connecting them.

Which was why he was so surprised when he opened his apartment door to see Jared standing in the hallway.

Jared had pictured this moment more times than he could count since he'd booked his plane ticket, the scenarios including everything from him kissing Jensen senseless as soon as he opened the door to him breaking down in tears and begging to be taken back. Honestly, Jared had been so up the wall lately that he'd had no idea how he would react to seeing Jensen again, but now that he was here, and they were standing face to face, Jared knew that he just looked tired. He'd barely slept since Jensen left.

"Hey," he said softly, raising a hand in a gesture of surrender. "Don't send me away; I just want to talk. Can I come in?"

Jensen nodded dumbly, stepping back and letting Jared into the apartment, shutting the door softly behind him. He led the other man into the living room, waving him down onto the couch while Jensen sat in the armchair. "So..." he began, and then hesitated. _Why is Jared here?_ That was as good a spot as any to start, he decided. "Why are you here?" Jensen stared hungrily at Jared as he waited for an answer; he'd thought Jared would never come here, never want to see Jensen again after he walked out for the second time.

"You've been ignoring my calls," Jared answered, unable to keep the hurt out of his voice. "And maybe you're okay with burning that bridge now but I meant what I said at the wedding; I don't want it to burn. So, before you throw down the match, I think we should talk. About that night. About... why you left me after."

Jensen stiffened, swallowing. "Which night?" he asked harshly. "The one where you cheated on me, or where I helped you cheat on Kevin?

Jared flinched. "I broke up with Kevin the night of Josh's bachelor party," he responded, his voice shaking slightly. "And I've never cheated on anyone in my life."

"Bull—Wait. You broke up—Why didn't you say anything?" Jensen exclaimed, staring at Jared with his mouth hanging open. Jared had broken up with Kevin days before the wedding?

"I thought you knew," Jared admitted sheepishly. "I was too busy tearing Kevin a new one to see you leave that night, and then with the way we were talking at the wedding, I just assumed you'd heard me tell him it was over." _I assumed you wanted me back, instead of just a meaningless fuck._

Jensen continued staring at Jared, aware that he was probably beginning to look extremely stupid. "You—you did?" He was quiet for a moment, and for the first time in years, he let himself hope he was wrong about before. "And—" He had to clear his throat to dislodge the words. "And with Sandy?"

Jared took a deep breath. This was the hard part. He'd waited for a chance to explain this for five years; he could not fuck it up. "Okay, so the first thing you need to understand is that I kind of did cheat on you that night, but—" He held up a hand when Jensen opened his mouth to interrupt. "—not in the way you think. Sandy kissed me; that's all. Hear me out." Jared ran a hand through his hair, quickly going over his story in his head. Every word was true, but he edited here and there, not sure he was ready for Jensen to know absolutely everything right this second. Soon, but Jared had to keep some cards to his chest. "We were fighting, sort of, over something, and Sandy was saying that I couldn't know for certain if I was gay because I'd never been with a girl. She tried to seduce me, but when I didn't respond to her kissing me, she gave it up as a bad job and apologised. We talked everything out, and by the time we were done, it was too late for her to go home. We shared a bed to _sleep_ , I didn't so much as breathe on her all night, and that's what you walked in on in the morning."

Jensen turned everything Jared had just said over in his mind, feeling more and more like a total asshat the more he thought about it. "I... I believe you. God, I was such an idiot—but I'd always partly believed that one day you were gonna leave me, and I was so gone on you, that I wanted to spare myself, so I was... I was almost looking for a reason to walk away," Jensen admitted in a whisper, finally letting himself acknowledge it aloud.

Jared shook his head, smiling ruefully. "I was never gonna leave you," he whispered. "You were everything, Jen. I wanted to spend my life with you."

Jensen frowned at that. "Then why didn't you come out?" he demanded. "You came out for Kevin, Jared. I asked you about it the night we went to the bar. You told me 'you find the right guy, you'd do anything for him.'"

Jared's jaw dropped. "How stupid can you get?" he asked, and then immediately thought better of it. "No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. It's just... I didn't come out for Kevin, you idiot. I came out for _you_."

Jensen snorted. "You've got a funny way of showing it," he growled. "You wanted to keep using Sandy as a cover, Jared. That was your idea, not mine."

"I know, I know," Jared said hurriedly, holding his hands up once again. "I'm not going to deny it: I was a fucking idiot. I was young and stupid and I was terrified of what people would think of me, what my mom would say and what my team would do. But I loved you so much and I didn't want to lose you, either. I thought I could have the best of both worlds, but obviously I was wrong." He paused, looking down as he took another deep breath, and when he met Jensen's gaze again his eyes were wet with unshed tears. "That's what I was arguing with Sandy about. Whether or not I should come out. I decided that I would, and when you walked out of my house that morning and refused to even look at me for the rest of the summer, I knew what I had to do. We were starting college, had everything set up so that we could stay together, and I figured you wouldn't be able to avoid me once we got there—so I came out to my family toward the end of the summer, and I was going to corner you at UT and tell you everything. I was gonna win you back." Jared laughed, a harsh, deprecating sound, and couldn't stop the way his mouth turned down at the corners after as he fought not to cry. "But you didn't come. You left me, transferred to another school without a word, and I knew. I knew you didn't love me anymore."

" _What?_ " Jensen shouted, jumping to his feet. "You thought I—Dammit, Jared, I left _because_ I loved you! I loved you so much, and it hurt like hell, finding you in bed with her, and I just—I just couldn't think straight. I thought this was it—you'd figured out where you stood, and I lost. I thought you were just using me as an experiment, and I didn't even get to keep you," Jensen finished miserably, sinking back down into his chair.

Jared was out of his seat in an instant, dropping to his knees between Jensen's legs and grasping his hands. "You were never an experiment," he promised earnestly as the tears started to flow. "You were—you _are_ everything I've ever wanted. Jensen, I never stopped loving you. Not for a second. I get that you might not feel the same, but I just—I don't know what to do without you anymore."

Jensen blinked, his gaze locking on their entwined hands. "I don't... I don't know what to do without you, either," he admitted quietly.

"Then don't leave me again," Jared whispered, only vaguely aware of how pathetic this would sound if Jensen were about to rebuff him. "Please."

Jensen made a sound like a wounded animal. "Don't use those damn puppy eyes on me," he said, laughing weakly. Then he swallowed. "I... I don't want to. I miss you so damn much."

What Jensen was saying was slowly sinking in, and Jared carefully released his hold on Jensen's hands. Even back before the wedding, Jensen had said that he hadn't wanted to lose Jared's friendship, and that was basically what he was saying now. Jensen didn't want to lose him, Jensen missed him—but he wasn't returning any of Jared's declarations of love. And that stung—fuck, it _burned_ —but it was okay. Anything was better than nothing. 

Jared rocked back on his heels, dashing the tears away from his face and trying not to feel unbelievably stupid. "I miss you, too," he rasped. "I'm gonna need some time, but as long as I get to have you in my life..." He got to his feet. "I should probably go, huh? Stop embarrassing myself by thinking that you could possibly—I'm sorry. I'll see myself out."

"What? No!" Jensen leapt to his feet, lunging to grab Jared's arm. "Why are—Why do you want to go?" he asked, brow furrowed in confusion, hurt coloring his voice.

Jared closed his eyes and pretended that he wasn't trembling. Couldn't Jensen see that this was killing him? "I get it, okay? We were best friends before we were anything else and I get that you want that  back. I do, too. But I don't want to make things awkward, so I just—I should go. Just while I get used to the idea."

Jensen released Jared's arm as if he'd been burned. "You..." He had to clear his throat before he could continue; everything was jumbled up in his mind; nothing made sense. "You don't want to go back to the way we were before...?" Oh God. He'd misinterpreted everything.

"Jensen," Jared said slowly, and there was no denying it now—he was shaking like a leaf. "I have told you that I love you over and over again since that night at the hotel, but you haven't said it back once. And that's okay. But I can't be around you right now if you don't—" He couldn't even finish the sentence; his throat had closed up on him.

"If I don't what?" Jensen asked, suddenly tired, yet feeling buzzed with terror that this could be his final chance to not fuck things up. "Don't love you? Jesus, Jared, I do. 'S why I stayed away, why none of my other pathetic attempts at a relationship worked.”

Jared suddenly felt like his knees were going to give out from under him, and he seized Jensen by the shoulders and pulled him in until they were pressed flush together with a hissed, _Fuck_. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," he gasped, and he had no idea who he was talking to, which one of them he was slating, but it didn't matter because he was saying the words against Jensen's lips and then they were kissing and he couldn't even form coherent thought, let alone speak. 

Jensen kissed Jared back frantically, his hands flying up to tangle themselves in Jared's hair. He made a small noise in the back of his throat, pressing closer. He'd never thought he'd get to do this again—hadn't thought Jared would want him ever again.

Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen's shoulders, holding him as close as he dared while they kissed each other breathless. When they finally broke apart, Jared refused to put any distance between them; he pressed his cheek to Jensen's and began kissing his way down Jensen's neck. "Say it," he begged, voice barely more than a whisper. "Please, tell me again."

Jensen shivered. "I love you," he promised. "God, I love you so much, Jared." He turned and captured Jared's lips in another kiss, moaning slightly.

The words were like balm to Jared's soul, and he felt all the pain and the heartache and the loss of the last five years melting away. Jensen still loved him. He swallowed Jensen's moan and echoed it with one of his own, hands sliding down Jensen's back to grip his ass. "Bedroom?"

Jensen nodded, grabbing Jared's hand and twining their fingers together before heading down the hallway. He shoved open the door to his room(not even wincing when it bounced off the wall hard enough to leave a mark), and pushed Jared down onto the bed, climbing onto the taller man's lap and straddling him.

"God, Jen," Jared sighed, gripping Jensen's waist as he leaned up for another kiss. He worked his fingers up beneath Jensen's t-shirt, tugging it off so that he could get his hands on that glorious skin. "Want you."

Jensen nodded eagerly, kissing Jared as he worked Jared's shirt off. "Want you too," he mumbled. "Want you so badly, God, always wanted you."

"You can have me," Jared breathed, fingers hastily unsnapping the button on Jensen's jeans and dragging the zipper down. "I'm all yours."

"Promise?" Jensen asked, desperately needing reassurance that this time they finally weren't going to screw this up, that they would actually be able to make this work.

Jared abandoned his struggle to remove Jensen's jeans in favour of framing Jensen's face with his hands and pulling him down for a slow, deep kiss. "I promise," he murmured, resting their foreheads together. "I'm not losing you again. I can't."

Jensen nodded, blinking quickly to dispel the tears threatening to spill. He kissed Jared quickly before sliding backwards, quickly undoing Jared's jeans and pulling them down and off of Jared's legs. He hesitated before pulling Jared's boxers off, though, looking up at Jared uncertainly. "Can I?"

"Yeah," Jared answered hoarsely. He lifted his hips up, encouraging Jensen to continue. "Please."

Jensen smiled, then quickly hooked his fingers in the waistband and tugged them down, pulling the cloth off of Jared completely before settling back in between Jared's legs. "Remember the first time I sucked you off?" he murmured, leaning forward to run his lips down on side of Jared's cock.

Jared's laugh was breathless and barely there. "Yeah," he gasped, his hips twitching. "I came almost straight away and you nearly choked to death. We—ah, shit! We got better though."

Jensen hummed in agreement. "Yes, we did." He licked a stripe up the underside of Jared's cock before placing a chaste kiss to the head.

Jared made a strangled sound and threw his head back, fists clenching in the sheets at his sides. "Fuck, Jen, don't," he panted. "Don't _tease_!"

Jensen gave Jared a cheeky grin before he leaned down and slowly started taking Jared into his mouth, wrapping his fist around what wouldn't fit. He loved the weight of Jared's dick on his tongue, the head bumping against the roof of his mouth. God, he'd missed this.

Jared moaned and arched helplessly into Jensen's mouth, managing to release the sheets with one hand and tangle his fingers in Jensen's hair instead. "Yes," he hissed. "So good, Jen."

Jensen bobbed his head, occasionally pulling off to suckle down the shaft before taking Jared back in his mouth. "Jesus, I've missed doing this," he murmured, pulling back once more.

Jared felt his eyes roll back in his head. He'd hardly been celibate in the last five years, but nothing had compared to this. "Jensen," he whined through gritted teeth, tightening his hand in Jensen's hair. "M'close."

"Someone's a bit worked up," Jensen whispered, diving back in. His jaw was starting to ache, so it was just as well. He could feel Jared's thighs twitching under his hands, and he had to suppress a smile. Jensen pulled off with a pop, holding Jared's cock casually in one hand. "Wanna do this like old times?"

Jared blushed, somewhat embarrassed by how easily he'd almost lost it; maybe they hadn't improved much since their teenage years after all. "You make me feel seventeen again," he laughed by way of explanation, grinning at Jensen. "So yeah. That sounds perfect."

Jensen nodded, grinning. He climbed back up Jared, settling into his lap. "Lube's in the bedside drawer," he said.

Jared twisted to pull the drawer open and grope inside, his fingers easily finding the bottle of lube. He took it out and pressed it into Jensen's hand, flashing him a nervous smile. "Just like old times, right?"

Jensen smiled reassuringly at Jared, leaning down to kiss him softly. "Just like old times, you sitting on the bed, me straddling you, and you watching me work myself open before I ride you," he promised, dripping some lube onto his fingers before reaching back to circle his hole with one.

Jared moaned appreciatively, sucking his lower lip between his teeth. It might seem like a lazy practice on his part, but as a teenager nothing had got him going more than watching Jensen finger himself open—and it seemed like not a whole lot had changed since then. "You're so sexy, Jen; always were," Jared told him, running his hands up Jensen's thighs until they bracketed his cock. "Perfect like this. Love you so much."

Jensen smiled, but it quickly morphed into a moan of pleasure. He had three fingers buried in his ass, crooking them against his prostate. He remembered the first time they'd done this; they'd both barely lasted long enough for Jared to get fully seated within Jensen.

Jared was thinking along the same lines, and he had to wonder whether they were going to last much longer this time. They had better stamina now, but Jared was so turned on, desperate to be with Jensen like this again, and without both his upstairs and his downstairs brain subdued by alcohol his arousal was just that much stronger. The noises coming from Jensen as he fingered himself weren't helping matters either; Jared grabbed the base of his dick in an attempt to calm down and sent Jensen a sheepish smile. It really shouldn't be so overwhelming, but it was _Jensen_. Jensen had always had this power over him.

Jensen finally felt ready, and he removed his fingers, wiping them on the bedsheets. He grinned down at Jared, leaning forward to kiss him as Jensen situated himself above Jared's cock, the tip just pressing against his hole for a moment before he began to slowly sink down, relishing the feeling of Jared filling him.

Jared groaned as Jensen began to lower himself onto his cock, one hand flying to Jensen's waist to help steady him. "You feel so good," he rasped when Jensen was finally sitting on his hips. It was quite possibly the understatement of the century, but his brain was short-circuiting a little.

Jensen hummed happily, taking a moment to kiss Jared languidly. "I love you," he breathed, rocking his hips slightly before rising up and sinking back down.

Mindless with pleasure or not, Jared was not going to take a passive role in their lovemaking. While Jensen rode him, Jared did his best to work him into a frenzy, letting his hands roam over Jensen's body. He pinched nipples, stroked abs, caressed thighs, even reached around to rub at the place where he was stretching Jensen open—but didn't once touch his cock. Just like old times, Jensen would have to beg for that.

Jensen growled under his breath, slamming his hips down on one particularly enthusiastic thrust, clutching at Jared's shoulders for balance. "You getting off on this? On making me beg?" he snarled, quickening his pace. "Wanna hear me beg for you to touch me, want to bring me off? Make me come all over your chest before you come in me, fill me up nice and good, make me yours?"

"That's the idea," Jared groaned, managing a smirk before his expression went slack with pleasure. He slid his hands up Jensen's chest, rolling both nipples between forefingers and thumbs, and bucked his hips to drive even deeper into Jensen. "Don't think you can distract me. You always did beg so pretty, Jen."

Jensen was too close, otherwise he'd have held off longer. " _Ngh,_ Jay," he gasped. "Fuck, please, 'm so close, touch me, God, just need you to touch me."

Jared was completely helpless to resist. He wrapped a hand around Jensen's cock and started to stroke him in time with their frantic thrusts, paying particular attention to the head. "Come on Jen," he encouraged breathlessly, his own orgasm almost ready to overwhelm him. "Come for me."

Jensen tossed his head back, coming with a groan. "Jared, c'mon, please," he begged, rocking his hips. "I wanna feel you come, just like we used to do all the time, God."

The sight of Jensen losing it for him coupled with those words was what pushed Jared over the edge. He snapped his hips up, burying himself deep within Jensen, and came hard. "Jen, Jen," he panted, pawing at his lover, dragging him down for a kiss. "Mine. You hear me? You're mine. God, I love you."

"'M yours," Jensen mumbled against Jared's lips. "And you're mine."

***

When Jared woke up the next morning, the first thing he knew was that there was a weight on his chest. The second thing he knew was that it was breathing. He opened his eyes, and couldn't help the grin that spread across his face when he saw that Jensen was still in his arms, sleeping soundly. Given what had happened last night, he shouldn't have been surprised, but after last time... Well, Jared had been reluctant to get his hopes up. 

He sighed happily, smiling up at the ceiling while he listened to Jensen breathe, and took a moment to think about how far they'd come.

*******

"Hey Jen? Can I ask you for a favor?"

Jensen glanced over at Jared. Jensen was sitting at Jared's desk, and Jared was sitting on the bed, both of them working on homework for AP English. "What's up?" he asked, looking at Jared curiously.

Jared bit his lip, already regretting speaking—but, not quite. He had to do this; if he didn't, he was going to go insane. He set his homework aside and shuffled along the bed, closer to Jensen, a  nervous flush heating his face. "Will you kiss me?"

Jensen stared at Jared in shock. He didn't know why he was hesitating—only, he did. He'd had a crush on Jared for years now; Jared had been the reason he'd figured out he was gay. But Jared was straight. _Or maybe not,_ Jensen thought suddenly, hope flaring, bright and hot, in his chest.

He licked his lips tentatively, and nodded. "Sure. But... why?" He hated giving Jared an opportunity to back out, but he needed to know.

Jared shrugged, and said the words he'd been rehearsing in front of his mirror for a week. "I think I might be into guys, but I need to check." It was utter bullshit. Jared knew that he was gay, had known for quite some time—but between his basketball team and his family, he hadn't dared to come out. He still didn't dare, but he thought that if anyone was worth taking a chance on, it was his best friend. If they kissed and Jensen didn't respond, then nothing would change between them, but if he did... Hopefully, everything would change for the better.

Jensen considered it for a second, and then got up from the chair, moving to sit next to Jared on the bed. "Okay," he said.

Then Jensen kissed the boy who had his best friend since preschool.

It was awkward and strange and not very good at first, but then they both shifted and adjusted themselves, and suddenly all Jensen could think was: _Finally._ This wasn't Jensen's first kiss, but it sure as hell was the best.

Jared sighed into Jensen's mouth, his head spinning with relief. At first he'd thought that his experiment had been a disaster, but now his whole body was humming with _yes_ and _more_ and _now_. It ended before they could take it further, however, and as Jensen was pulling away, Jared desperately blurted out the truth. "Jen, I'm gay."

Jensen chuckled breathlessly. "One guy-on-guy kiss does not a gay man make," he quipped, smiling at Jared. "Third time's usually the charm."

Jared blinked, a slow smile curving his lips. "Then I'll have to try again," he murmured, falling forward and kissing Jensen for the second time. It was even better than the first, but that could have had something to do with the fact that they were both smiling into it. Jared scooted closer to the edge of the bed, one hand sliding around the back of Jensen's neck so that when they broke apart, it was nothing at all to pull him back in for a third kiss.

When they pulled apart again, Jensen was tenderly carding his fingers through the messy mop that Jared called his hair. "What do you think now?" he asked, still feeling hopeful. Maybe—just maybe—Jared felt the same way he did.

Jared licked his lips, loving that he could taste Jensen on them, and nodded. "Still gay," he said softly, flushing. "I really like you, Jen."

"Well duh, I'm your best friend, moron," Jensen laughed, tugging on Jared's hair affectionately. Then he dipped in to steal another kiss, mumbling against Jared's mouth, "I really like you, too."

***

Jared was pulled from his thoughts when Jensen began to stir in his arms. He mumbled a 'good morning' that Jensen returned, and they spent an indeterminate amount of time trading lazy kisses and soft, breathless laughs. It was evident that Jensen was as happy about their reunion as Jared was, but there was still something lingering in the back of Jared's mind. He pulled his lips from Jensen's and shook his head, smiling, when Jensen made to chase him. This was something he needed to say.

"Jen... Back when we first got together, when I asked you to kiss me. You know that wasn't an experiment to see if I was gay, right?"

Jensen stilled for a second; he hadn't thought about their first kiss in a long time—not without it causing almost physical pain. "I know," he said softly after a moment. "You would never do that to me."

Jared wasn't entirely convinced that Jensen believed that, or at least that he'd believed it before last night, but he didn't want to push it. Instead, he grinned, evidently relieved. "Good. I knew I was gay; I just didn't know if you liked me."

Jensen chuckled, pressing a kiss to Jared's chest. "I liked you, trust me. I just... when all those rumors really started going around school after prom, I kinda... let myself doubt."

Jared grimaced. He hadn't done much to stop the talk of him going 'all the way' with Sandy after prom, but he'd always assumed that Jensen knew it was bull. "I'm sorry," he murmured, running his fingers through Jensen's hair. "I should never have kept us a secret. Then you wouldn't have had any reason to doubt."

Jensen shrugged. "You didn't want to risk your teammates treating you any differently," he said. "Anyway, what's done is done." They were both quiet for a moment, Jared stroking Jensen's hair, and Jensen tracing idle circles on Jared's chest. "What about Jeff?" Jensen asked quietly.

Jared tensed. He hadn't spoken to Jeff in years. "What about him?" he asked, his voice strained.

Jensen shrugged again. "It's just... He's your brother, Jare. I'm betting you haven't spoken to him in a while, but... You should. Just to see if he's changed."

"No." Jared shook his head. "I know he gave you some shit back then, but you weren't there when I came out. You didn't hear the things he said to me." Jeff was openly homophobic, and had been a big part of the reason why Jared insisted on hiding his relationship with Jensen; the rest of his family had loved Jensen for who he was, but Jared had never been sure if Jeff wasn't just less reluctant to vocalise their true views. When Jared eventually did come out, Jeff had disowned him on the spot, essentially  ostracizing himself from the family—and the knowledge that everyone else supported him hadn't really helped Jared in the face of losing his boyfriend and his brother in one fell swoop. 

"Oh." Jensen fell quiet again, guilt swamping him. He hadn't been there to help Jared through that, because he'd been dumb enough to believe that Jared could cheat on him. "I'm sorry, baby," he whispered, pulling Jared closer.

Jared went willingly into Jensen's embrace, a delicate shiver running through him. "You know," he murmured, smiling softly. "I've waited five years to hear you call me that again. Don't be sorry. It's okay; it was a long time ago."

Jensen returned Jared's smile, leaning up to kiss his lover again. "I've missed calling you that," he admitted. "Were we this sappy when we were teenagers?" Jared teased, snickering. 

Jensen laughed. "No, we weren't. We were too busy screwing like bunnies anytime we could find a spare moment to have time for sappiness."

Jared's expression softened. "Maybe that was our mistake," he suggested, his eyes sad but earnest. "I'm gonna spend the rest of my life making it up to you, I swear."

"Okay, I'm done with the cheesiness now," Jensen snickered, smacking Jared in the chest before rolling back on top of him. "C'mere and help me take care of my morning problem."

***

Jensen was pacing the room that everyone was keeping him trapped in. Literally. Chad and Chris were standing guard outside of the door, to make sure that Jared and Jensen didn't see each other before the wedding. He didn't particularly care—even when he'd caught a glimpse of Sandy coming into the church—but Jared was bound to be upset; Jeff had answered the wedding invitation with a resounding " _No._ "

There was a creak from the door, and Jensen whirled towards it, smiling when he saw Jared. "You're not supposed to be here, you know," he said lightly as he walked over to take Jared's hand in his, stroking his thumb over the back of Jared's hand reassuringly.

"I know," Jared mumbled sheepishly, giving Jensen's hand a squeeze. "But I had to see you. You look amazing, by the way." It was true. Dressed in a tux that matched Jared's own, tailored by Frank himself, Jensen looked nothing short of beautiful. It was probably a good thing that he'd snuck in here before the ceremony; it wouldn't do to be struck dumb while delivering his vows.

Jensen grinned. "Same to you, baby," he said, leaning in to kiss Jared quickly. "You okay?" he asked after he pulled back, concern written plain to see.

Jared nodded, taking a deep, steadying breath. "Yeah. I'm not getting cold feet or anything," he promised, just in case that was where Jensen's mind was going. "I just... There's all those people out there, our families and friends, waiting to support us while we do this—and I wish Jeff was here. Is that stupid? He made it pretty clear that he wants nothing to do with me."

"Oh Jay," Jensen sighed, and then decided wrinkles be damned. He moved forward to pull Jared into his arms. "It's not stupid to miss him; he's your brother."

Jared clung to Jensen and tried to pretend that he wasn't tearing up. "He always said he wanted to be my best man at my wedding," he mumbled miserably into Jensen's shoulder. Of course, that had been back when Jared had been 'dating' Sandy; only Jeff seemed to have been oblivious to the fact that Jared had been in love with someone decidedly not female. "Now I'm stuck with Chad."

Jensen stroked Jared's back soothingly. "People can be bastards sometimes, Jare. There's nothing we can do about it, much as it sucks. You've got the rest of your family, your friends, and you've got me. We'll make it, somehow."

Jared nodded, drawing back to look at Jensen, the beautiful man who was about to become his husband. "I do have you, don't I?" he asked, smiling, although it wasn't really a question that needed an answer. Jensen was his as much as he was Jensen's, and at the end of the day, nothing else mattered.

"Forever," Jensen promised.

"Okay you two, I know Jared's in there, and he needs to get his ass out _now_ so he can get up to the altar," Chris called, banging his fist on the door. Jensen laughed and kissed Jared one more time.

"See you at the altar."


End file.
